I have been studying and practicing Buddhism for a couple of years. I have been pondering how do Buddhist principals relate to house sharing.Concepts
These are all equally important.
The numbers are for finding the section you want in body of the page.
Concepts
1 - For the Benefit of all Beings
2 - Interdependence
3 - Patient Acceptance
4 - All beings have Buddha potential or Positive potential
5- Delusions are the Cause
6- Everyone has Positive potential and Delusions / Faults
7 - Love
8 - Karma, cause and effect
9 - Subtle impermanence
10 - Everything is a projection of Mind
11 – Three faults of the Pot
12 - What is more important, one person or many
13 - Compassionate Speech
Explanation:
1) ----- For the Benefit of all Beings
This can turn the most boring tasks for maintaining a house into a joyful experience.
I clean the dishes, sweep the floor, clean areas, etc. with motive to help others. I imagine how others in the house benefit by me doing these tasks.
What if other house activities were done with the intention to benefit all housemates, including yourself ?
What if Landlords and Renters thought of this concept ?
Landlords takes care of physical building and legal for the current and future tenants. Also, for the future owners of the buildings. It is very likely the building will outlast the Landlord.
Renters take care of physical buildings for future tenants. It is highly likely that someday someone else will be renting the same space. Renters follow through on agreements, including payments, so landlord has financial resources to fulfill landlord responsibilities.
Meditations:
Ask a person how he/she/they are affected when seeing a chore completed, how did you feel hearing how you helped another human being ?
Landlord could ask tenant, how did fixing X help you ?
The tenant could ask the landlord, what did you experience when you received my payment X ?
Remember what you felt hearing the person say how he/she/they benefits and meditate on that feeling for a few minutes before doing the chore. Then, I suggest remember that feeling while doing the chore/talk.
2) ----- Interdependence
Everything is made up of parts. Each person is a part of the whole.
Ignoring what works for me OR others, leads to unending difficulties.
Paying attention to what works for me and others is critical to sharing to work. Otherwise the solution is lacking critical information for an effective solution
A meditation based on this principal:
Reflect on how many people were involved in creating the materials, moving the materials and putting the material together to make the house you are in.
The same with food, electricity, etc.
3) ----- Patient Acceptance
This is about connecting with Wisdom.
This helps me shift from reaction to choice.
When I react I am very likely to follow old patterns and act unconsciously.
This helps me connect with and act from Wisdom.
I accept what has just happened, has happened. Two seconds have passed. It is now in the past. What is the wisdom action/move going forward ?
Meditation:
Sit or stand, focus on my breath for a few minutes. I let thoughts come and go. When I notice myself reacting or following a thought. I let the thought go. In the beginning, success is noticing I am lost in thought. With practice over time, gaps between thoughts may appear. The gaps provide access to Wisdom (compassion and knowledge)
4) ----- All beings have Buddha nature or Positive Potential
This helps me get out of negativity.
When someone does something I don’t like. I can see them as essentially bad. That one moment represents their entire being. Bad describes everything about them.
Or, I can remind myself, there is more to a person than what he/she/they says and does. This is one moment out of many moments in the person’ life. This changes the energy I am acting from. The result is my “no” and or setting boundaries is more effective.
When I do something I don’t like. I can see myself as bad, always bad. This one moment represents everything about me.
Instead of getting stuck in see myself as bad, I can remind myself I have Positive Potential. The mistake is not the entirety of my being. That moment is not the entirety of my whole being.
This is unlock me from shame and depression, so I take action to make amends.
A meditation:
Imagine seeing them when they were a baby. Often, when I see a baby, I think what positive potential.
5) ----- Delusions are the Cause
The person’s delusion is causing them to act with out care. They are hurting and disconnected from their Positive Potential.
This changes how I go about setting limits and saying no.
This raises a question for me. How often do I want people to treat me based on my good intention, instead of consequences or a mistake that I wish I could take back or can’t fix ?
6) ----- Everyone has Positive Potential and Delusions / Faults
This can help me maintain balance and maybe prevent fights.
When someone says you did a job or a great person. Or someone says you suck, did a bad job.
I can say to myself for both, you are partially correct. I have Positive Potential and Delusions.
A meditation:
I take a moment to remember a moment I did something to help someone in the house.
I take a moment to remember a moment I made a mistake, was not helpful in the house.
7) ----- Love
Wishing love is wishing another person wellness. I can do this regardless of other person’s behavior/opinions
Compassion is desire to relieve other people’s suffering, I can have this desire regardless of other person’s behavior/opinions
Instead of hoping or waiting for love or compassion to come from my housemates/society, I can seek ways to develop this ability in me. Then, I can choose moments to use my mind to see my housemates with love and compassion.
The ability to see a housemate with love / compassion, changes my actions. It shifts the energy behind my words and actions when saying yes or no. It helps me connect with Wisdom (compassion and knowledge).
Meditation:
A) just like me, he/she/they are seeking happiness,
sometimes their methods are successful, sometimes not successful, just like me
B) write a list of everyone in the house. Then, say one of the names and wish that person wellness. Do this for everyone on the list.
8) ----- Karma, cause and effect
Doing positive actions, creates conditions for sharing to go smoother
Doing negative actions, creates conditions for sharing to become difficult
When people act kindly towards housemates, this creates conditions for sharing to be positive or joyful.
When people act unkindly towards housemates, this creates conditions for sharing to become negative or unpleasant.
People sharing could decide to intentionally create positive Karma in the house. Since everything is interconnected, the more positive energy in the house, the more positive energy in the community and country and world.
This may inspire people to do random acts of kindness inside and outside the house. That could create an unpredictable chain of positive actions with unforeseen and or unknowable positive benefits. A runaway train of positivity.
Mediation
Write a list of everyone in the house. Then, say one of the names and wish that person wellness. Do this for everyone on the list.
9) ----- Subtle impermanence
Whatever I see, hear, feel is gone in a second. The next second arises. It may look the same or sound the same, but at subtle level it has changed. The process of arising and going every second is endless.
This helps me shift out of this is hopelessness based on it is and will always be this way.
This can create hope in me. The bad condition will change. Nothing lasts forever, even the “me” I normally see. The eternal me will continue on.
I connect with hope and helps me feel calmer. The calmness connects me to Wisdom. So, my actions are more likely to be effective.
10) ----- Everything is a projection of Mind
This helps me shift from powerless victim to wondering if there is something I can do about this.
Maybe there is something I can do to create peace in myself, self heal, that will impact how I experience something.
11) ----- 3 Faults of the Pot
A Buddhist analogy for learning Buddhism, which I think can be applied to two people are listening to each other.
Upside down Pot, The Pot is turned upside down. Nothing can get into the pot. My mind is closed to other people’s thoughts, opinions, experiences.
Bad Smelling Pot , The Pot is turn upside, so things can be put into it. But, there is already stuff in the pot. Whatever you add to the pot, mixes with that. Am I creating something different from what the other person said by mixing my stuff with what they said. ? I may do this is to stay with what I am comfortable with or avoid something new or different..
Pot has holes, Whatever is poured into the Pot comes out. Is what the person saying, passing thru me, leaving nothing behind ?
12) ----- What is more important, one person or many
This expands my perspective from just me to considering others.
13) ----- Compassionate Speech
Not attacking someone values.
Attacking someone’s values closes communication and cause unnecessary hurt
Honest with Compassion
I consider the other person’s temperament and style. This is to done to care for the person and reduce unintentional harm. And, it is about effectiveness of communication.